|Origin of pic|
Just because it's my choice, doesn't make it easy!
I'm feeling... I don't know how to even express it. Past the point of no return, rolling down the cliff, out of the frying pan and into the fire. My mind is spinning and my chest feels tight. My heart is racing. I'm breathless but not having a heart attack. It's a reality attack.
I've been mentally planning for our future for months... years! But I guess I haven't been addressing how I will let go of sixteen years of history in one workplace. I've been here since before my divorce. My kids were in grade school when I came here. I've seen physicians, administrators and employees come and go in an endless procession while I've stayed on. I think I'm gonna be SICK!
I can't even imagine how I will go about training her. What things will I tell her and what things will I just let her figure out for herself? I hope that she will do better than I in many ways, but in other ways... it would be nice if they missed me just a little... A breath of fresh air, a new attitude, an unbiased eye... will be a good thing for the practice. I just hope that I can keep it together until time to go!
My mind will now be forced to reconcile how we will live on Bruce's income. I have earned my own living, or at least pulled my weight... since I was a teen! I'm tossing away the safety net for myself and my children. If I were to add up all of the days I've spent jobless in the past 30 years, they would probably be about the equivalent of one year! It's mind boggling!
Wish me luck as I travel backwards on the "corporate ladder". The fall will be interesting I think... I've just gotta get past these first few rungs, then I'm sure I'll be back on track to the land of palm trees and sunshine (and dysfunctional heads, diesel engines, seasick cats, etc.).