I had little hope of finding a home, and that was fine with me... until one day. I was snatched up from my cage and put on display. It was a degrading audition. Why should I have to prove anything to a human about my self worth? I did my best Psycho act but it was no use... they took me anyway.
I held myself apart from them for many months, but was finally forced to relent. They were in possession of the one thing I lacked... Thumbs! Yes, this is what lifts them to the status they enjoy in this life. If only Cats had thumbs... we would rule the world.
I eventually became resigned to this life where I further debased myself by accepting not only shelter, but food and drink from these people. It made me feel better that they had no idea that I was eating off the counters and drinking from the toilets when they weren't looking. Oh, sure, they caught me red-handed a couple of times, but I played dumb and they believed that it was the first time... every time! They really aren't very smart.
The years rolled on and we moved from a small apartment to a small home, and finally to a sprawling two story place that was just made for me. I loved spending hours staring out of my upstairs bedroom window at the birds in the branches just outside. I would speed around the upstairs rooms and then zip down the stairs to the kitchen for a bit of a snack. Then back upstairs I would go for a nap. The humans left me alone for the most part.
Most days the man would come home smelling funny and the woman... well she just came home yaking about something that had irritated her that day. Now and then I would give them a thrill and purr a bit... usually when they made it to bed on time. But I didn't want them to get cocky so I would usually wait until they were asleep then climb up into my bed with them and wait for breakfast time.
Then one day, I was stuffed into the box that leads to the lady with the bottom stick. I was none too happy about it as you can imagine. But this time, there was no lady. The rest is a bit of a blur... I was taken, still in the box, across some water on a board. The smells were completely foreign to me... where were they taking me? I was beginning to get freaked out! There were big white things with sticks jutting out from the top all lined up and my man took me onto one of them. Then we went down into a dark place that smelled just like the man's clothes do when he comes home every day.
This can't be happening to me. After all I've been through. You know... maybe I've been to hasty in my judgement of you guys. I'll be nicer. I'll sit on your lap. I can change! I've gotta get outta here! I dashed up the ladder and out of the screened porch.... WHAT! That's WATER! OMG I feel woozie.
|Self Appointed Queen of the Evil Empire
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