Saturday, November 17, 2012

It Wasn't As Easy As I Thought...

Sitting on the foredeck waiting for 55 gallons of water to flow into the tank… my emotions threatened to bubble over and I pushed them back yet again.  I'm just tired, it's silly, this is what I've wanted for years.  But still… its a big deal!

We live aboard a sailboat!  When I think about it, I get kind of whiggy.  I've planned and pushed for this without letting up so that we would make it this time.  And we did it!  I think…  It doesn't flow easily yet, but it will.

Strangers came into our home and riffled through our clothes and treasures.  They walked out the front door carrying our things, having paid some paltry amount.  They looked at us like we were crazy or wished us well as we told them why we were selling out. 

I must say that I am disappointed in the turnout for our yard sale.  We had far fewer people visit than in years past.  I can't complain about the amount of stuff we sold however, because our kids took the majority of the good stuff.  I hadn't realized that they even LIKED our stuff, so there is a bit of suspicion in my mind that they're taking it to keep for us for when we "come to our senses" and decide we don't want to live on a sailboat.  I'm just glad we didn't have to let our treasures go for a pittance.  I would far rather see it with the kids for nothing.  

We spent hours this past week dragging things out, dusting, folding and displaying so that it would present well.  When it struck noon and the sale was over, it hardly looked touched.  Thankfully, my mother was on hand with a load of boxes.  She helped us pack it all up, with the exception of very little, to go to her Church's thrift store.  She drove off with a chunk of our lives.

We put the house back together and packed up some stuff to take to the boat.  We loaded the kitties and their gear and we left with the kids all upstairs napping.  That song by Fastball, "The Way" played over and over in my head.  All the way to Port A I had to keep from thinking about what we had given up for the unknown.  A nice home, lots of choices, convenience, a life of ease.  

I could call it all off right now.  Just turn around and go back.  Changed my mind!  But I told myself that this is what we've planned for, what we've worked for.  It's our dream!  All I have to do is get through the next six months of limbo and we're FREE!  

So, as the water flows into the tank, thoughts of Port A and boat life rise to the surface, replacing the worries and stresses of the past fourteen hours.  I began to relax and let go and feel lighter.  So what if our fridge isn't working.  We'll get it figured out.  It's just another part of the adventure that is now ours.  We made it.  We're THERE.  You will see our shadows wandering off somewhere… we won't make it home but we really don't care… we wanted the boat life, we're happier there today… TODAY!...